I'm quite used to Southern Hospitality, as I am from New Orleans. Moving to Mississippi has exposed us to different customs and culture. The entire South is not the same. Many similarities, but also many differences. This isn't good or bad, just different. We've had to adjust to so many differences and learn the various customs and culture being here since Hurricane Katrina.
I am polite to people and always treat them respectfully. My mother never forced us to refer to people as Ma'am and Sir, although she would not tolerate us disrespecting anyone, nor calling anyone out of their names. Just treat people right, and speak to them correctly. She also did not want people to call her Ma'am.
Here, in Mississippi it's different. We have experienced that some women in particular in our circle become quite inflamed, insulted, and downright upset if they are not referred to as Ma'am. They "correct" my children and even my husband and I if we fail to do so. Particularly in the church. And ESPECIALLY if they're older.
You know, I really do respect that, but I've been taken aback by the extreme feelings on it. Honestly, just by calling someone Ma'am doesn't mean that you respect them. So, I figured it was deeper than what I saw on the surface.
Also "different" for me in the church is the way people refer to one another. Ok, what I mean by that is by the prefixes they attach. I am strongly accustomed to being referred to as Sister in the church in New Orleans. You are Sister or Brother so-and-so, unless you have a "special" title (i.e., Reverend, etc.). I am not big on titles. But, I understand the Sister or Brother, because in Christ, we are Sisters and Brothers.
Here, in Mississippi, it's a little different. They do say Sister or Brother at times, but most of the time they refer to you as Mr. or Mrs. I just found that so odd in the church. They will say, or write for example, Reverend and Mrs. Nix. Or they will refer to me as Mrs. Nix. Personally, I know I'm Mrs. Nix, I know who I'm married to, but communicating with one another in church, I'm your Sister.
It struck me as odd, but their custom is so embedded and strong for them, I knew again that it was deeper than that.
Early on, I told my husband that I saw it as more of a statement. Maybe the younger generations may not understand it, and do so only out of custom. But I believed that the prefixes (and the referral as Ma'am & Sir) was a badge of honor, respect, and a statement that yes I am a Man or a Woman worthy of this just as they are.
Who are they? They are those who oppressed Black people and treated us less than human. I knew that this was driven from the civil rights era and beyond.
Today, I received confirmation. I watched a wonderful interview on ABC's Good Morning America by Robin Roberts. She spoke with (Judge) Gordon Martin who is the author of a new book release, "Count Them One By One". Judge Martin explores a crucial time in the civil rights movement as Black Mississippians fought to vote. I thoroughly enjoyed the interview and found the book interesting. Read an excerpt by clicking the title above.
Judge Martin confirmed my conclusion when he said that Blacks weren't referred to as "Mrs" back then. Meaning that the White community would not afford our people that respect. He specifically spoke of a courageous woman who was always denied the right to vote. She'd signed her name as Mrs (husband's name).
I believe that when we developed a stronger voice, and was able to do stand tall, we were determined to obtain the SAME respect and honor as any other person in this world. Especially here in the deep South, and here in Mississippi.
That is why, no matter how extreme I found people's affinity to the terms Ma'am, Sir, Mr., Mrs., were, I honored the significance of them. And I give homage to all of the men and women who endured, suffered, and died so that I too can enjoy the freedom and rights as everyone else. Not trying to spew a cliche, but, it is true that we have come a long way, yet we still have a ways to go. There is still room for improvement, and unfortunately some will never look at me, or any other Black person with respect, honor, or even a glimmer of love. But that's ok. I'm blessed with love from those that matters.
Mrs. Carla Y. Nix
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
MERRY CHRISTMAS
CHRISTMAS IS MORE THAN A SEASON
By Carla Young Nix
God gave us His greatest gift
Salvation perfectly wrapped and hand picked
For whosoever would believe,
And open their hearts to receive.
The gift is not a one-time present
For His love is manifested in His presence.
Let us allow His precious light to shine
And touch others through your life and mine.
Jesus Christ is God’s gift to us
For He loves us oh so much.
Our celebration has a purpose and a reason,
Jesus Christ is much more than just a season.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
CELEBRATE
One of my good friends made me quite nostalgic today as I read of his memories of Christmas when life was "innocent". For him, it was Tonka Trucks. For me, it was Barbie dolls and the Suzy Homemaker Oven. I'm sure that most of us can remember bikes and skates and games. My friend reminded us of cookies and Christmas goodies being baked. Oh, how I love the aroma of Christmas.
My mother would always give the house a good Christmas cleaning, such as the Spring cleaning. She was a seamstress and would make new drapes and curtains for the house. Daddy would do the decorating outdoors. I remember the house really being lit up beautifully. And oh how I remember our Christmas tree. I loved that silver tree and to do this day, I still seek one.
I remember the Christmas pageants at school. I will never forget that I once played the role of Ghost of Christmas Future because I was so quiet. The teacher didn't think that I would speak up loud enough for a speaking role. As this ghost, all I had to do was point! I remember my big brother Michael playing the trombone in the school band, and I so loved the Christmas concert. I remember he and I also playing Christmas music on the piano. I particularly loved to play, "Jolly Old St. Nicholas".
I remember singing in the choir at church and our Christmas programs. Then, in high school, I sang in the choir and we learned so many songs so well under the direction of Mrs. Patricia Sallier Seals. I believe we began preparing for the Christmas program when school began each year. Our showstopper was our finale performance with the band - Handel's Messiah (the Hallelujah Chorus).
So many memories of Christmas. But, today, a question came to mind. How do you REALLY celebrate Christmas? All of these memories are great, and I pray I never forget them. At this juncture in my life, you will hear or read me stressing the importance of not forgetting what has become a cliche, "Jesus is the reason for the season."
He is! Absolutely He is. We can never forget that the reason we commemorate Christmas is to recognize, acknowledge, and to worship God for the birth of Jesus the Christ. I don't like to use the term "birthday" because that gives the connotation that His life began at the immaculate conception and divine birth. This is not true because Christ always existed.
My mother would always give the house a good Christmas cleaning, such as the Spring cleaning. She was a seamstress and would make new drapes and curtains for the house. Daddy would do the decorating outdoors. I remember the house really being lit up beautifully. And oh how I remember our Christmas tree. I loved that silver tree and to do this day, I still seek one.
I remember the Christmas pageants at school. I will never forget that I once played the role of Ghost of Christmas Future because I was so quiet. The teacher didn't think that I would speak up loud enough for a speaking role. As this ghost, all I had to do was point! I remember my big brother Michael playing the trombone in the school band, and I so loved the Christmas concert. I remember he and I also playing Christmas music on the piano. I particularly loved to play, "Jolly Old St. Nicholas".
I remember singing in the choir at church and our Christmas programs. Then, in high school, I sang in the choir and we learned so many songs so well under the direction of Mrs. Patricia Sallier Seals. I believe we began preparing for the Christmas program when school began each year. Our showstopper was our finale performance with the band - Handel's Messiah (the Hallelujah Chorus).
So many memories of Christmas. But, today, a question came to mind. How do you REALLY celebrate Christmas? All of these memories are great, and I pray I never forget them. At this juncture in my life, you will hear or read me stressing the importance of not forgetting what has become a cliche, "Jesus is the reason for the season."
He is! Absolutely He is. We can never forget that the reason we commemorate Christmas is to recognize, acknowledge, and to worship God for the birth of Jesus the Christ. I don't like to use the term "birthday" because that gives the connotation that His life began at the immaculate conception and divine birth. This is not true because Christ always existed.
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.2 He was with God in the beginning." John 1:1-2 (NIV)
But our observance is to focus on the fact that He entered the world as our Savior through the Holy birth as prophesied.
"Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel." Isaiah 7:14 (NIV)
The question remains. How do you truly celebrate? I am not knocking the family gatherings, the gift giving, and the love and goodwill. We should do this. In fact, we should do this throughout the year. We should help one another, as this is what God instructs us to do anyway. We should be happy and rejoiceful. But, how do YOU celebrate the coming of our Savior?
I had to answer this myself because I know it's not me asking the question. So, I had to think, and as I did so, I allowed the same Spirit to minister to me that's asking the question.
Christmas is not about me at all. My celebration has to come from within me. I must fervently focus on the miracle and blessing that God performed through His Son.....for me! This is when I factor into the situation. When I recognize what He's done for me! For me! Yes, for me! December 25th means absolutely nothing other than it being a date on the Gregorian calendar which follows the 24th and precedes the 26th. However, the advent of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ should highlight and be the core of my celebration at all times.
Ever wonder why the date of Jesus' birth is not noted in the Bible? I don't believe that the date is important. Why do we think that God would want us to focus on His gift to us only on a certain day of the year? Yet, since we are so conditioned to do so, ask yourself, do I really do so?
Yes, let's have the family and loved ones unity, love, and togetherness. Let's help others. Let's sing the songs, eat the food, and open the gifts. But let's most importantly reflect, focus, and concentrate on the miracle of eternal life we've been afforded. It becomes personal. Only you can answer the question, do I REALLY celebrate?
Merry Christmas!
Carla
NOT IN A BOX
It's amazing how people will come to conclusions about you and make decisions about how YOU should fit in a certain box. I am so ticked with a particular creditor who had the audacity to say, "And you're a Christian woman" in a message to me because I refused to talk anymore to her.
The company obviously have been tracking me online. I noticed that my name had been "Googled" (searched) various times recently (I receive alerts). I noticed that various of my links were searched. They obviously have been reading me. Great, I want to be read. But I don't want it used against me.
Yes, I refused to talk to her or the company anymore because I've explained my situation to them. I'm open. I'm truthful. To bombard and harass me makes no sense as I cannot give them anything. I make no income. My family is just making it. I've told them to put whatever they need to tell me, or do to me, in the mail.
Why should I continue to talk (argue) with them when they refuse to hear what I have to say? And yes, they drive you to a point of argument. So, in a voice mail, she throws it, the "Christian woman" term as though I am supposed to just sit passively and be hounded. I'm sure she's reading, and my question to her is, "Are YOU a Christian woman?"
As a Christian woman, I earnestly pray for those who are experiencing hard times. In fact, I do what I can, when I can, to help others. Even when it means sacrificing myself. I don't beat anyone over their heads because they are struggling.
So, "Sonya".....I am also praying for you.....and that is because, yes, I am a Christian woman!
I'm Blessed,
Carla
The company obviously have been tracking me online. I noticed that my name had been "Googled" (searched) various times recently (I receive alerts). I noticed that various of my links were searched. They obviously have been reading me. Great, I want to be read. But I don't want it used against me.
Yes, I refused to talk to her or the company anymore because I've explained my situation to them. I'm open. I'm truthful. To bombard and harass me makes no sense as I cannot give them anything. I make no income. My family is just making it. I've told them to put whatever they need to tell me, or do to me, in the mail.
Why should I continue to talk (argue) with them when they refuse to hear what I have to say? And yes, they drive you to a point of argument. So, in a voice mail, she throws it, the "Christian woman" term as though I am supposed to just sit passively and be hounded. I'm sure she's reading, and my question to her is, "Are YOU a Christian woman?"
As a Christian woman, I earnestly pray for those who are experiencing hard times. In fact, I do what I can, when I can, to help others. Even when it means sacrificing myself. I don't beat anyone over their heads because they are struggling.
So, "Sonya".....I am also praying for you.....and that is because, yes, I am a Christian woman!
I'm Blessed,
Carla
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
WHEN IT'S ONE OF US
I was really saddened to learn of the news that a high school classmate of mine passed recently. My prayers go out to the family and friends of Valerie Brown Cosper.
I was very quiet and shy in high school, and didn't have many friends. But I observed a lot of people. I didn't really know Valerie, but I do remember my impression of her. My first memory is of her being tall, yet very graceful. She had a beautiful smile and eyes. She wasn't a loud person and never seemed to make waves or cause trouble. I remember a gentleness and kindness about her. Overall, the word SMART jumps out at me when thinking of her.
It's been 31 years since graduating from the McDonogh #35 Senior High School in New Orleans. Yet with the wonders of technology and social networks such as Facebook, our Class of 1979 have reconnected. Yet, it feels as though it was only yesterday that we graduated on that hot May afternoon at the Municipal Auditorium. However, we have all grown and succeeded in so many ways during that time.
Although I didn't really know Valerie, she is still one of us. I am sure that her death has touched each one of my classmates in virtually the same way. Valerie is one of us. She may not be our biological family, but her death hits home because, yes, she's one of us.
I don't know the details of her passing, and I don't need to, but this does make one think and say, "it could've been me". It makes me think about my own life and of course my mortality. It makes me think about my family and the fact that I love them so much and would not want to leave them. I know the pain of losing Mama.
Again, my prayers goes out to Valerie's family.
I was very quiet and shy in high school, and didn't have many friends. But I observed a lot of people. I didn't really know Valerie, but I do remember my impression of her. My first memory is of her being tall, yet very graceful. She had a beautiful smile and eyes. She wasn't a loud person and never seemed to make waves or cause trouble. I remember a gentleness and kindness about her. Overall, the word SMART jumps out at me when thinking of her.
It's been 31 years since graduating from the McDonogh #35 Senior High School in New Orleans. Yet with the wonders of technology and social networks such as Facebook, our Class of 1979 have reconnected. Yet, it feels as though it was only yesterday that we graduated on that hot May afternoon at the Municipal Auditorium. However, we have all grown and succeeded in so many ways during that time.
Although I didn't really know Valerie, she is still one of us. I am sure that her death has touched each one of my classmates in virtually the same way. Valerie is one of us. She may not be our biological family, but her death hits home because, yes, she's one of us.
I don't know the details of her passing, and I don't need to, but this does make one think and say, "it could've been me". It makes me think about my own life and of course my mortality. It makes me think about my family and the fact that I love them so much and would not want to leave them. I know the pain of losing Mama.
Again, my prayers goes out to Valerie's family.
Monday, December 20, 2010
EXPECTING!
I had a dream last night that made me chuckle! In the dream, I was pregnant. That is hilarious at my age! There is no way my body, or my life right now could handle a baby. I'm still physically of "child bearing age", as they would say, but oooh.....I believe I'm much closer to the second phase of my life.
Someone gave me a new perspective on the dream. She said perhaps it represents that I am pregnant with "purpose and next level potential". I like that! She went on to say that perhaps I am about to give birth to greatness.
I can receive this wisdom. Particularly since God has been setting in my spirit a message of patience and expectancy. There is something specifically that I know God wants to bless us with, and I know it will come to pass in His time. In the meantime, both Jerry and I have been placed in position where we must simply be patient and realize that this is preparation. That is what God have been speaking to me. Preparation. Be patient. It's coming!
Pregnancy is a process. It's a growing period. A developmental stage. Then there are labor pains as the seed that had been planted and fertilized comes forth in birth.
This dream and clarity prompted by my Sister4Jesus has affirmed my personal and spiritual theme for the new year. I know that every year, we claim that the next year will be our year. Well, it is, and I feel that I have much to expect in 2011. My mantra - Expectin' in 11.
Blessings,
Carla
Someone gave me a new perspective on the dream. She said perhaps it represents that I am pregnant with "purpose and next level potential". I like that! She went on to say that perhaps I am about to give birth to greatness.
I can receive this wisdom. Particularly since God has been setting in my spirit a message of patience and expectancy. There is something specifically that I know God wants to bless us with, and I know it will come to pass in His time. In the meantime, both Jerry and I have been placed in position where we must simply be patient and realize that this is preparation. That is what God have been speaking to me. Preparation. Be patient. It's coming!
Pregnancy is a process. It's a growing period. A developmental stage. Then there are labor pains as the seed that had been planted and fertilized comes forth in birth.
This dream and clarity prompted by my Sister4Jesus has affirmed my personal and spiritual theme for the new year. I know that every year, we claim that the next year will be our year. Well, it is, and I feel that I have much to expect in 2011. My mantra - Expectin' in 11.
Blessings,
Carla
Friday, December 17, 2010
FITTED
I'm not a fitted-type of person. Wish I could be. Or not.
I don't even know if "fitted" is a type of person but I have come up with that label. I was in conversation with someone about clothes. She's a very stylish person, and I admire that about her. I love her style. For her. It fits her. It is her. But, it's not me. She stated that she has most of her clothes tailored because she likes her clothes to fit snuggly. The suit I was wearing that day, she said she would have to have the skirt taken in to fit her more snug.
She looks nice in her outfits. I told her that I don't feel that I would if mine fit more tightly. Well, she says, shapely. I told her that that's just it. My shape is not one I would want to be framed. She laughed lovingly at me. I would be so uncomfortable. Actually, I've looked at some women and wondered how they could be comfortable wearing their clothes so snug. I thought perhaps they didn't know how to shop and bought things too small for them. But when this lady told me that she purposely has her taken up, I figured I was wrong (not that hers are too tight - or perhaps it's because she has the right shape for it). But I've seen women who wear outfits that are very tight around their hips. Some women even my plus size. Some shorter than I, yet rounder. Some slimmer, yet with larger hips. Some with larger busts. Some with smaller. Some with legs as big as mine, shorter than mine, longer than mine, and skinnier than mine. They have them covered with fitted skirts, dresses, or slacks. Or, they have them exposed with short skirts, dresses.
My point is that they're comfortable. I personally could never be. I would feel totally exposed. And, I would feel as though I'm on display. I do like to wear nice clothes, trust me on that. I love pretty things. I love classy things. And I love clothes of good quality. But, it is not my body that I feel needs to be exhibited. I want someone to pay attention to me the person, and not my shape. I want them to hear what I'm saying. Not be distracted by the package. I want them to accept the contents, and not the wrapping. And overall, I want to be comfortable.
Nope, I'm not a fitted person at all. I can be cute, but just let me be relaxed while doing so.
Carla
I don't even know if "fitted" is a type of person but I have come up with that label. I was in conversation with someone about clothes. She's a very stylish person, and I admire that about her. I love her style. For her. It fits her. It is her. But, it's not me. She stated that she has most of her clothes tailored because she likes her clothes to fit snuggly. The suit I was wearing that day, she said she would have to have the skirt taken in to fit her more snug.
She looks nice in her outfits. I told her that I don't feel that I would if mine fit more tightly. Well, she says, shapely. I told her that that's just it. My shape is not one I would want to be framed. She laughed lovingly at me. I would be so uncomfortable. Actually, I've looked at some women and wondered how they could be comfortable wearing their clothes so snug. I thought perhaps they didn't know how to shop and bought things too small for them. But when this lady told me that she purposely has her taken up, I figured I was wrong (not that hers are too tight - or perhaps it's because she has the right shape for it). But I've seen women who wear outfits that are very tight around their hips. Some women even my plus size. Some shorter than I, yet rounder. Some slimmer, yet with larger hips. Some with larger busts. Some with smaller. Some with legs as big as mine, shorter than mine, longer than mine, and skinnier than mine. They have them covered with fitted skirts, dresses, or slacks. Or, they have them exposed with short skirts, dresses.
My point is that they're comfortable. I personally could never be. I would feel totally exposed. And, I would feel as though I'm on display. I do like to wear nice clothes, trust me on that. I love pretty things. I love classy things. And I love clothes of good quality. But, it is not my body that I feel needs to be exhibited. I want someone to pay attention to me the person, and not my shape. I want them to hear what I'm saying. Not be distracted by the package. I want them to accept the contents, and not the wrapping. And overall, I want to be comfortable.
Nope, I'm not a fitted person at all. I can be cute, but just let me be relaxed while doing so.
Carla
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Ouch!
I've become accustomed to joint pains and back pain. But, I don't know what's been going on lately. I've been in increasingly growing pain over the last few weeks. The last two days have been the worse. I was hurting so badly at one point yesterday that it brought me to tears. Mostly because I don't know what's going on.
It's not joint pain, but really bad pain in both of my legs. There are times that I have not been able to really walk. The pain now is throbbing, and I am not sleeping well because of it. Tylenol helps a little for a little while.
If it gets worse, or continues without easing, I guess I should see the doctor. I sure don't want to. I just want it to stop!
Carla
It's not joint pain, but really bad pain in both of my legs. There are times that I have not been able to really walk. The pain now is throbbing, and I am not sleeping well because of it. Tylenol helps a little for a little while.
If it gets worse, or continues without easing, I guess I should see the doctor. I sure don't want to. I just want it to stop!
Carla
Monday, December 13, 2010
Dec 13th
I can't believe it's been three years! It was December 13, 2007 when I suffered a mild stroke. That day was a defining moment for me. It was that day when I knew in my spirit and heart that I would not be returning back to work. Oh, I didn't doubt that I would recuperate and become better physically, but I just knew that I could not go back. I did not admit it until a few weeks or so later, but I already knew.
God had a plan for me and I had to listen to his voice. In fact, He'd been speaking to me for at least a year about moving away from my job and committing myself more to His work. It didn't make good common sense to me, but common sense isn't necessarily God's way of doing anything. What's common to man is not for God. God's way definitely are above ours.
Abraham comes to mind. Moses. Joseph. Jeremiah. Job. Paul. Mary. Even Rahab the Harlot.
God can, and does, use anyone.......each of us. And His direction and assignment for us is tailored made for His distinct purpose for us. It took a stroke for me to finally acknowledge His calling on my life.
I praise Him for allowing me to live so that I could walk in my purpose!
Carla
God had a plan for me and I had to listen to his voice. In fact, He'd been speaking to me for at least a year about moving away from my job and committing myself more to His work. It didn't make good common sense to me, but common sense isn't necessarily God's way of doing anything. What's common to man is not for God. God's way definitely are above ours.
Abraham comes to mind. Moses. Joseph. Jeremiah. Job. Paul. Mary. Even Rahab the Harlot.
God can, and does, use anyone.......each of us. And His direction and assignment for us is tailored made for His distinct purpose for us. It took a stroke for me to finally acknowledge His calling on my life.
I praise Him for allowing me to live so that I could walk in my purpose!
Carla
Sunday, December 12, 2010
THE REAL LIFE
My family goes to the most amazing and wonderful dentist in Jackson, Mississippi. He is William L. Boteler, DDS. Hold tight for a moment.....this actually isn't about dentistry. It's about living the real life. Let me explain.
Dr. Boteler is definitely great at his work. He has a fantastic practice. I love his office, his employees, and the atmosphere in which he creates. His skill is what he learned, but the spirit that exudes his practice is who he is. Even the attitude and dispositions of his employees I believe are an extension of Dr. Boteler. You can feel pure love from everyone. It doesn't feel as though they're simply doing a job. Anybody can do a job, but special people do it well and naturally.
You feel at ease in Dr. Boteler's office even before you reach the chair. There is Christian music softly piped in, beautiful Christian art adorning the waiting room, a Bible in view and amongst other reading material, and an overall stillness about the place.
Then you meet Dr. Boteler and you know why you feel at peace. He is at peace and it flows out of him like a wave of clouds. Strong, yet gentle. He speaks to you with a calmness that relaxes you.
Dr. Boteler invited my family and I to his church's Christmas Production. He blessed us with tickets to the show. I saw their production last year on television and knew that it was a true theatrical presentation. Dr. Boteler told me that he would be serving as an usher, at the door greeting people.
That may not seem like a big deal to anyone other than me, but I was blown away by this. That's because it did not surprise me that he would serve in such a position. Some may say, but he's a professional man. A dentist! A doctor of dentistry. A successful man who has established a fantastic practice. And I am sure that he is a man who makes an excellent living as far as finances are concerned. Some would ask, why would he choose to serve in a position that is under-appreciated, flies under the radar, and perhaps not at all appealing to most?
That's just it! Because of my few meetings with Dr. Boteler, I am not surprised at all that he would serve others. I see this as being the real life for Dr. Boteler. This is not something he learned in dental school. This is what he's learned as a Christian and a man of faith.
Think of yourself. Perhaps you have a job (thank God) and you have certain skills. You're probably very good at what you do. But, there's more to you. What is it that you do when you don't have to? What do you always find yourself doing when a need is there? What is it that you are willing to do without being paid for it?
These things are your real life! They are you! They are characteristics of your purpose in life. Your real life. It is who you really are.
Dr. Boteler will not be practicing dentistry all of his life. There will come a day when he'll retire. He may even lose interest in it. He may walk away from it. But, he will never cease being a servant of God by serving others. He will most always choose to serve in a position of helping others. Leading them. Guiding them. Making them comfortable. This is who he is.
I think about my own life. We laugh about it when I tell my children, but this is my experience. From a child, I was always writing or doing some type of organizational work. In fact, it became my "job" to address and mail all of our Christmas cards when I was a girl. Daddy said that I was the "secretary" of the family. Mama encouraged me because she said that I had a great handwriting. But it was more than that. I took an interest in doing my "job". I was the one who made sure that we had Christmas cards and I developed the mailing list. I do the same still to this day.
Whenever I was in an organization, I always ended up being the secretary. I took the Minutes, kept the records, organized and wrote correspondence, etc.
On my paid jobs (secretarial field, of course), I continued doing these things, but also always took care of people. I made sure that their work got done, and I always had a passion to assure that they were alright even in a spiritual, mental, and emotional way. I began personally writing daily inspirational messages for them because I felt that everyone needed support and encouragement in order to be the best they could be.
I always had a mother hen spirit about me as well. On my desk was always a box of tissue, and a candy dish. I kept aspirin and Tylenol with me. Need a Band Aid? I had one. Needed someone to talk to? I was there.
This is who I am. This is my real life. I have done this all of my life, and I will always do it because I am who God created me to be.
I'm thankful that a recent visit to Dr. Boteler's office reminded me of this, and definitely confirmed some things in me. God made me as I am for His purpose. I am not a mistake or a misfit. I'm designed just right, because God made me! What He planted in me is to be used with gladness and joy. I need to stop second-guessing myself and simply live and enjoy who I am. God doesn't make mistakes.
I am so thankful for my real life!
Blessings,
Carla
Dr. Boteler is definitely great at his work. He has a fantastic practice. I love his office, his employees, and the atmosphere in which he creates. His skill is what he learned, but the spirit that exudes his practice is who he is. Even the attitude and dispositions of his employees I believe are an extension of Dr. Boteler. You can feel pure love from everyone. It doesn't feel as though they're simply doing a job. Anybody can do a job, but special people do it well and naturally.
You feel at ease in Dr. Boteler's office even before you reach the chair. There is Christian music softly piped in, beautiful Christian art adorning the waiting room, a Bible in view and amongst other reading material, and an overall stillness about the place.
Then you meet Dr. Boteler and you know why you feel at peace. He is at peace and it flows out of him like a wave of clouds. Strong, yet gentle. He speaks to you with a calmness that relaxes you.
Dr. Boteler invited my family and I to his church's Christmas Production. He blessed us with tickets to the show. I saw their production last year on television and knew that it was a true theatrical presentation. Dr. Boteler told me that he would be serving as an usher, at the door greeting people.
That may not seem like a big deal to anyone other than me, but I was blown away by this. That's because it did not surprise me that he would serve in such a position. Some may say, but he's a professional man. A dentist! A doctor of dentistry. A successful man who has established a fantastic practice. And I am sure that he is a man who makes an excellent living as far as finances are concerned. Some would ask, why would he choose to serve in a position that is under-appreciated, flies under the radar, and perhaps not at all appealing to most?
That's just it! Because of my few meetings with Dr. Boteler, I am not surprised at all that he would serve others. I see this as being the real life for Dr. Boteler. This is not something he learned in dental school. This is what he's learned as a Christian and a man of faith.
Think of yourself. Perhaps you have a job (thank God) and you have certain skills. You're probably very good at what you do. But, there's more to you. What is it that you do when you don't have to? What do you always find yourself doing when a need is there? What is it that you are willing to do without being paid for it?
These things are your real life! They are you! They are characteristics of your purpose in life. Your real life. It is who you really are.
Dr. Boteler will not be practicing dentistry all of his life. There will come a day when he'll retire. He may even lose interest in it. He may walk away from it. But, he will never cease being a servant of God by serving others. He will most always choose to serve in a position of helping others. Leading them. Guiding them. Making them comfortable. This is who he is.
I think about my own life. We laugh about it when I tell my children, but this is my experience. From a child, I was always writing or doing some type of organizational work. In fact, it became my "job" to address and mail all of our Christmas cards when I was a girl. Daddy said that I was the "secretary" of the family. Mama encouraged me because she said that I had a great handwriting. But it was more than that. I took an interest in doing my "job". I was the one who made sure that we had Christmas cards and I developed the mailing list. I do the same still to this day.
Whenever I was in an organization, I always ended up being the secretary. I took the Minutes, kept the records, organized and wrote correspondence, etc.
On my paid jobs (secretarial field, of course), I continued doing these things, but also always took care of people. I made sure that their work got done, and I always had a passion to assure that they were alright even in a spiritual, mental, and emotional way. I began personally writing daily inspirational messages for them because I felt that everyone needed support and encouragement in order to be the best they could be.
I always had a mother hen spirit about me as well. On my desk was always a box of tissue, and a candy dish. I kept aspirin and Tylenol with me. Need a Band Aid? I had one. Needed someone to talk to? I was there.
This is who I am. This is my real life. I have done this all of my life, and I will always do it because I am who God created me to be.
I'm thankful that a recent visit to Dr. Boteler's office reminded me of this, and definitely confirmed some things in me. God made me as I am for His purpose. I am not a mistake or a misfit. I'm designed just right, because God made me! What He planted in me is to be used with gladness and joy. I need to stop second-guessing myself and simply live and enjoy who I am. God doesn't make mistakes.
I am so thankful for my real life!
Blessings,
Carla
Friday, December 10, 2010
LADY IN WAITING
Nope, I'm not talking about Kate, the soon-to-be Princess in England. Although I feel pretty royal tonight. We're going to one of the biggest events of the year in our ministerial circle here. We are members of the Copiah County Ministerial Alliance and it is a wonderful thread of support and love from a group of ministers. It is designed to educate, motivate, empower, support, and inspire the ministers in this, and surrounding counties. I am a member of the Ministers' Wives department.
The Ministers' Wives are truly wonderful women whom I've come to love, adore, admire, and aspire to be like one day. I could not have met a better group of women to help me in this life of being a minister's wife.
Most of the ministers are pastors with their own churches. Jerry, along with others in the group, is not yet a pastor. We love the support and mentoring they give him as he and I are preparing and waiting for when God calls and places him in his new assignment as a pastor. I, therefore, am a First Lady in Waiting.
We are already blessed to attend the functions of the ministerial life. That means that when called upon, Jerry preaches. That also mean that we attend functions, services, programs, etc. Which means that I, as a minister's wife am there as well.
Tonight, they're treating us like royalty. It's a beautiful event. They usher the couples in and we sit in places of honor. This is our 3rd year there. One year, we were both on program to do speak (briefly). We were well received. This year, Jerry will be part of the Devotional Team. Also, the ministers have formed together a chorale and they will be performing tonight. I had the opportunity to hear them rehearse, and they sound fantastic!
The highlight of the evening will be the presenting and acknowledgement of scholarship recipients. The Wives Department work on fundraising all year to give these scholarships. I am so excited about this.
So, as I am a Lady in Waiting, I thank God for the opportunities that God presents to us. He allows us to touch the lives of many. I feel honored to be here. I'm not big on position. But I believe that we all ought to take advantage of the position that God places us in for the Lord's glory! We should not just carry a title, but we ought to work the work that it entails. I thank God for giving us this opportunity.
The Ministers' Wives are truly wonderful women whom I've come to love, adore, admire, and aspire to be like one day. I could not have met a better group of women to help me in this life of being a minister's wife.
Most of the ministers are pastors with their own churches. Jerry, along with others in the group, is not yet a pastor. We love the support and mentoring they give him as he and I are preparing and waiting for when God calls and places him in his new assignment as a pastor. I, therefore, am a First Lady in Waiting.
We are already blessed to attend the functions of the ministerial life. That means that when called upon, Jerry preaches. That also mean that we attend functions, services, programs, etc. Which means that I, as a minister's wife am there as well.
Tonight, they're treating us like royalty. It's a beautiful event. They usher the couples in and we sit in places of honor. This is our 3rd year there. One year, we were both on program to do speak (briefly). We were well received. This year, Jerry will be part of the Devotional Team. Also, the ministers have formed together a chorale and they will be performing tonight. I had the opportunity to hear them rehearse, and they sound fantastic!
The highlight of the evening will be the presenting and acknowledgement of scholarship recipients. The Wives Department work on fundraising all year to give these scholarships. I am so excited about this.
So, as I am a Lady in Waiting, I thank God for the opportunities that God presents to us. He allows us to touch the lives of many. I feel honored to be here. I'm not big on position. But I believe that we all ought to take advantage of the position that God places us in for the Lord's glory! We should not just carry a title, but we ought to work the work that it entails. I thank God for giving us this opportunity.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Laura's Daughters
Do you ever wonder what you will leave this earth once you leave this earth? Actually, that is one reason why I started this blog chronologically tracing my journey to age 50. I just turned 49 in October. It was a very emotional birthday and time for me. Not simply because I'm getting older (as that's a blessing!), but because of its personal significance to me.
My mother died just days before her 49th birthday. In fact, her funeral was on Sept. 8th, which was her 49th birthday. As I entered my 40's, I secretly wondered if I would make it out of this decade. I particularly wondered if I would live past my mother's age.....even if it were only by one day.
It was deeper than that, however. My mother's chronological age was pretty young when she passed, yet she lived a rich, productive life. She did more living than many who live into old age ever experience. That is because she actually lived! I don't mean that she simply enjoyed the blessing of breathing God's air and having a pumping heart. That IS a blessing within itself. But Mama showed me that it's even more of a blessing to be of service to God by giving our lives to Him by serving others.
Mama used everything God gave her to be a blessing to others. She truly used her gifts to their fullest. She didn't even think about it. Everything she did was like second nature. It was like breathing. I choose to live my life as Mama lived, and taught. I thank God for giving me life beyond 49 years, and I pray that whatever time He leaves me with on this earth, I live it wisely, responsibly, and honorably.
Mama wasn't perfect, because no person is, but she was perfect for us. She was Mama! She made mistakes, I'm sure, but who knew? She was just her, and in so being, she impacted many lives. She taught us by example how to deal with people, how to treat them, and most of all, how to love others. I don't know not one person who ever met my mother who did not walk away a better person. No one walked away unchanged for the better. She had a way of empowering, uplifting, encouraging, and even teaching. But most of all, the most notable and lasting impressions she left was that of her giving heart. She taught us how to give of ourselves, and out of our resources.
Did Mama leave a great legacy? Absolutely! The obvious is her memory. Remembering Mama makes us smile because the memories are so pleasant. Remembering also makes us cry at times because we miss her so deeply. But then, we have to smile again because we know that she wanted us to carry on and to be our best.
There are times when I'm feeling low and I encourage myself by saying, "You are Laura's daughter!" There is nothing like knowing who you are. Because I'm Laura's daughter, that means that I am strong and capable. And I have a great legacy to carry on. I owe it to my Mama to do well and to be the best that I can be.
I am now a Mama with 3 children of my own. Mama raised 3 children, and I am her only daughter. She died before my children were born, so they don't have the fond memories that I have of her. However, her life never really died because I (and my brothers) have kept her alive in words, pictures, laughter, and our own lives.
I have 2 daughters, Tiffanie and Anaiah. Tiffanie's middle name is Laura because I wanted to carry on Mama's name. My daughters and I will be carrying on Mama's name in another way as well. During this holiday season, as a pre-launch, we will be exhibiting our talents and crafts by providing homebaked goodies and products under the name, "Laura's Daughters". In January, we will begin launching our line of products. All in the memory and excellence of Mama - Laura Houston Young.
Keep watching out for more from Laura's Daughters. We have a great legacy to carry on.
Blessings!
Proudly Laura's Daughter,
Carla
My mother died just days before her 49th birthday. In fact, her funeral was on Sept. 8th, which was her 49th birthday. As I entered my 40's, I secretly wondered if I would make it out of this decade. I particularly wondered if I would live past my mother's age.....even if it were only by one day.
It was deeper than that, however. My mother's chronological age was pretty young when she passed, yet she lived a rich, productive life. She did more living than many who live into old age ever experience. That is because she actually lived! I don't mean that she simply enjoyed the blessing of breathing God's air and having a pumping heart. That IS a blessing within itself. But Mama showed me that it's even more of a blessing to be of service to God by giving our lives to Him by serving others.
 |
| Carla (left) and Mama - Laura Houston Young (right). Cousin Patrice in background. (1978) |
Mama wasn't perfect, because no person is, but she was perfect for us. She was Mama! She made mistakes, I'm sure, but who knew? She was just her, and in so being, she impacted many lives. She taught us by example how to deal with people, how to treat them, and most of all, how to love others. I don't know not one person who ever met my mother who did not walk away a better person. No one walked away unchanged for the better. She had a way of empowering, uplifting, encouraging, and even teaching. But most of all, the most notable and lasting impressions she left was that of her giving heart. She taught us how to give of ourselves, and out of our resources.
Did Mama leave a great legacy? Absolutely! The obvious is her memory. Remembering Mama makes us smile because the memories are so pleasant. Remembering also makes us cry at times because we miss her so deeply. But then, we have to smile again because we know that she wanted us to carry on and to be our best.
There are times when I'm feeling low and I encourage myself by saying, "You are Laura's daughter!" There is nothing like knowing who you are. Because I'm Laura's daughter, that means that I am strong and capable. And I have a great legacy to carry on. I owe it to my Mama to do well and to be the best that I can be.
 |
| Laura's Daughters! Carla (middle) and daughters Tiffanie (left) and Anaiah (right) 2010 |
I am now a Mama with 3 children of my own. Mama raised 3 children, and I am her only daughter. She died before my children were born, so they don't have the fond memories that I have of her. However, her life never really died because I (and my brothers) have kept her alive in words, pictures, laughter, and our own lives.
I have 2 daughters, Tiffanie and Anaiah. Tiffanie's middle name is Laura because I wanted to carry on Mama's name. My daughters and I will be carrying on Mama's name in another way as well. During this holiday season, as a pre-launch, we will be exhibiting our talents and crafts by providing homebaked goodies and products under the name, "Laura's Daughters". In January, we will begin launching our line of products. All in the memory and excellence of Mama - Laura Houston Young.
Keep watching out for more from Laura's Daughters. We have a great legacy to carry on.
Blessings!
Proudly Laura's Daughter,
Carla
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
LOST TO GAIN
I am so thankful for everything that I have. I realize that I can be in a much worse position than I am. I praise God for my family, home, and for life itself.
I've come to learn that there's a great paradox in life. At least this has been true for me. I appreciate more and with a greater intensity things that I have lost. In other words, I've had to lose great things before I really came to appreciate their value.
One of those things is my marriage. We are blessed to have been married for 28 years. However, we do know of a very low valley at one point. I've shared before about our experience of an 18-month separation some years ago. Today, I simply marvel at the goodness of God because I know that it was only He who completely turned our lives around. It is like the threat of the loss of our marriage not only restored us, but totally revived us. God made new what we thought we lost. He brought back to life that which had died.
We'd known great days for 20 years before we hit that patch of unhappiness. That was a time in our marriage that we never wish to experience again. The living hell culminated in the separation. It took God to resuscitate it. We truly thought it was over; but God........but God.....BUT GOD said no!!!!
In retrospect, it is so clear that out of that cemetery, like Lazarus, the Lord called us both forth. He resurrected us and made us better than we were. Had we not walked through that fire, we would not be the couple, and individuals, we are. We're better together now, and better for each other. It is like we're new people and I tell you, such new life is in our marriage it's almost unbelievable.
It is clear to me that as difficult as the separation was, it was necessary to save our lives. It also demonstrates that no matter what the situation is, when you've done all you can with something and you trust God to bring you through, He will. I read on a friend's Facebook page something Jerry says quite often. God answers in three (3) ways. He does say YES, but He also says NO, and He says NOT NOW (or WAIT). Don't be so afraid of the NO's. He may have to say no to something in order to protect you. But, you are ok because He holds you in His hand. His NOT NOW answers are also for our good. There are some things that we are simply not ready for at the time of our asking.
Our separation was a NO answer. I prayed that Jerry would not leave. God allowed Him to leave. I wanted things to work out. We both wanted that. The answer to that was NOT NOW. We had to be rebuilt and renewed first. Our reconciliation was a YES answer. YES to what God had joined together, no one would put asunder. YES to the union that God put together and destined to be.
No matter what it looks like now, know that the bottom line is that God is in control. I've learned that what looks dead to our natural eyes is God's opportunity to show His omnipotence. I've gone through a lot in my life, and still go through some tough times. But I have learned that God is bigger than everything I've ever experienced, or will ever see. Trust Him, even when you think that you can't go any further. He's already made the way.
(*If you want to learn more about my experience with our separation, contact me to purchase my eBook entitled "The Weight of Unforgiveness".)
Blessings!
Carla
I've come to learn that there's a great paradox in life. At least this has been true for me. I appreciate more and with a greater intensity things that I have lost. In other words, I've had to lose great things before I really came to appreciate their value.
One of those things is my marriage. We are blessed to have been married for 28 years. However, we do know of a very low valley at one point. I've shared before about our experience of an 18-month separation some years ago. Today, I simply marvel at the goodness of God because I know that it was only He who completely turned our lives around. It is like the threat of the loss of our marriage not only restored us, but totally revived us. God made new what we thought we lost. He brought back to life that which had died.
We'd known great days for 20 years before we hit that patch of unhappiness. That was a time in our marriage that we never wish to experience again. The living hell culminated in the separation. It took God to resuscitate it. We truly thought it was over; but God........but God.....BUT GOD said no!!!!
In retrospect, it is so clear that out of that cemetery, like Lazarus, the Lord called us both forth. He resurrected us and made us better than we were. Had we not walked through that fire, we would not be the couple, and individuals, we are. We're better together now, and better for each other. It is like we're new people and I tell you, such new life is in our marriage it's almost unbelievable.
It is clear to me that as difficult as the separation was, it was necessary to save our lives. It also demonstrates that no matter what the situation is, when you've done all you can with something and you trust God to bring you through, He will. I read on a friend's Facebook page something Jerry says quite often. God answers in three (3) ways. He does say YES, but He also says NO, and He says NOT NOW (or WAIT). Don't be so afraid of the NO's. He may have to say no to something in order to protect you. But, you are ok because He holds you in His hand. His NOT NOW answers are also for our good. There are some things that we are simply not ready for at the time of our asking.
Our separation was a NO answer. I prayed that Jerry would not leave. God allowed Him to leave. I wanted things to work out. We both wanted that. The answer to that was NOT NOW. We had to be rebuilt and renewed first. Our reconciliation was a YES answer. YES to what God had joined together, no one would put asunder. YES to the union that God put together and destined to be.
No matter what it looks like now, know that the bottom line is that God is in control. I've learned that what looks dead to our natural eyes is God's opportunity to show His omnipotence. I've gone through a lot in my life, and still go through some tough times. But I have learned that God is bigger than everything I've ever experienced, or will ever see. Trust Him, even when you think that you can't go any further. He's already made the way.
(*If you want to learn more about my experience with our separation, contact me to purchase my eBook entitled "The Weight of Unforgiveness".)
Blessings!
Carla
Monday, December 6, 2010
HOME
I am still adjusting to life here in Mississippi. We've been here since Katrina, a little more than five (5) years now. I remain feeling like a fish out of water, spawn out in the middle of a desert. I am becoming accustomed, somewhat, to things, but it's hard. Really hard. Mindsets, concepts, philosophies, and ways of doing things are at times impalpable for me. Very difficult to swallow. Almost impossible at times to digest.
I believe that people we deal with also forget that we are NOT natives of this land. Whereas many things are customs and traditions for them, it is all still quite new to us. And it's not that we're slow learners, but it really is that we're shedding a whole lifetime basically of who we were to adjust to who we've had to become since the hurricane. How do you shed a lifetime?
We still hold on to our own customs, traditions, and definitely our culture. We try to drop it so that we can fit in here, but it's not easy. Again, it's like a fish out of water.
I am thankful and happy for my new life although it is somewhere I never thought I would be living. Particularly, settling down and living out the rest of my life. It's just that I wonder when will I ever feel that I have arrived home?
Carla
I believe that people we deal with also forget that we are NOT natives of this land. Whereas many things are customs and traditions for them, it is all still quite new to us. And it's not that we're slow learners, but it really is that we're shedding a whole lifetime basically of who we were to adjust to who we've had to become since the hurricane. How do you shed a lifetime?
We still hold on to our own customs, traditions, and definitely our culture. We try to drop it so that we can fit in here, but it's not easy. Again, it's like a fish out of water.
I am thankful and happy for my new life although it is somewhere I never thought I would be living. Particularly, settling down and living out the rest of my life. It's just that I wonder when will I ever feel that I have arrived home?
Carla
Friday, December 3, 2010
INVISIBLE
There was a time when I was invisible. Might as well say invisible. How else can I describe what a grade school teacher once told my mother. I remember her words so clear. She said, "Oh, most of the time I forget that Carla is even here." Her point was that I was so quiet and never caused any problems, that she literally didn't see me. That was supposed to be a compliment. She was saying that I was not a trouble maker, I caused no problems, I didn't bother her, I didn't make waves, I didn't rock the boat. I came to school, did my work, and went home. I suppose I was most teachers dream student.
But those words cut me. Made me feel insignificant and that I didn't matter. I mean, this is how I took it. If I could make my teacher not even realize that she had me as a student, how lame could I be?
I was simply quiet. And I never wanted confrontation, nor could I deal with upsetting anyone. Never wanted to disappoint, always wanted to please. So I was very much agreeable. Easy to get along with. I never really spoke my mind or even gave my opinion.
Times have changed. Those days are gone! As I got older, I've become much more comfortable with who I am and I realized that my thoughts and feelings are important. I am significant. I do matter. And most of all, I have a voice. I've always known that I have a good mind, I just didn't give myself permission to speak it. Now, not only do I speak it, I sing it! My challenge now is knowing when and how to use it. I have to find a balance and know that I must shut up, or simply not say anything at times. Not saying anything, and not having anything to say are two different things. It takes strength and power to restrain one self at the right time. That doesn't mean that you can't say anything, it just means that you've chosen not to. That takes discipline, not always an easy task! I'm happy now that I can speak up. I'm never short of asking questions, or questioning when I need clarity.
I've come full circle. Sitting in my seminary classes now, I often find myself "arguing" in my head AT myself. "Carla, shut up!" "Carla, don't monopolize the class!" "Carla, stop asking so many questions!" "Carla, stop answering all of the teacher's questions!"
Not that I'm trying to prove anything, but this little girl has come a long way from being invisible in class.
Blessings!
Carla
But those words cut me. Made me feel insignificant and that I didn't matter. I mean, this is how I took it. If I could make my teacher not even realize that she had me as a student, how lame could I be?
I was simply quiet. And I never wanted confrontation, nor could I deal with upsetting anyone. Never wanted to disappoint, always wanted to please. So I was very much agreeable. Easy to get along with. I never really spoke my mind or even gave my opinion.
Times have changed. Those days are gone! As I got older, I've become much more comfortable with who I am and I realized that my thoughts and feelings are important. I am significant. I do matter. And most of all, I have a voice. I've always known that I have a good mind, I just didn't give myself permission to speak it. Now, not only do I speak it, I sing it! My challenge now is knowing when and how to use it. I have to find a balance and know that I must shut up, or simply not say anything at times. Not saying anything, and not having anything to say are two different things. It takes strength and power to restrain one self at the right time. That doesn't mean that you can't say anything, it just means that you've chosen not to. That takes discipline, not always an easy task! I'm happy now that I can speak up. I'm never short of asking questions, or questioning when I need clarity.
I've come full circle. Sitting in my seminary classes now, I often find myself "arguing" in my head AT myself. "Carla, shut up!" "Carla, don't monopolize the class!" "Carla, stop asking so many questions!" "Carla, stop answering all of the teacher's questions!"
Not that I'm trying to prove anything, but this little girl has come a long way from being invisible in class.
Blessings!
Carla
Thursday, December 2, 2010
IS IT JUST ME?
Seems like I've been ticking people off lately! I don't know whether to laugh or cry about that. I am shaking my head about it, as I just don't know what's going on.
The obvious question is, what's wrong with everybody? But the better question might be, what's wrong with me? I don't know the answer to either. It is so weird. Either I'm bumping heads with folks, or I'm honest about something and it stings, or in many cases I simply don't know what the heck I did to cause such a reaction from them!
I'm wearing it all on my shoulders because I take responsibility and feel that it's all my fault. I don't like to hurt people, but it seems as though I am. Yet on the other hand, a little voice inside tells me that I can't be responsible for where people are. I realize that everyone has their own issues and perhaps, just perhaps, I come along or I'm standing in their line of fire, and I get smacked with their stuff.
Maybe I'm moving and no longer stand where I once was. Whatever the case, I'm stepping on toes and am at odds. It is so amazing to me. I mean, there have been cases when people I didn't even know had a beef with me! Unfortunately (or not), I do carry it. Either I don't do what they want or expect me to, or they want me to do something that I don't want to do.
Well, all I want to know is what's going on?
Carla
The obvious question is, what's wrong with everybody? But the better question might be, what's wrong with me? I don't know the answer to either. It is so weird. Either I'm bumping heads with folks, or I'm honest about something and it stings, or in many cases I simply don't know what the heck I did to cause such a reaction from them!
I'm wearing it all on my shoulders because I take responsibility and feel that it's all my fault. I don't like to hurt people, but it seems as though I am. Yet on the other hand, a little voice inside tells me that I can't be responsible for where people are. I realize that everyone has their own issues and perhaps, just perhaps, I come along or I'm standing in their line of fire, and I get smacked with their stuff.
Maybe I'm moving and no longer stand where I once was. Whatever the case, I'm stepping on toes and am at odds. It is so amazing to me. I mean, there have been cases when people I didn't even know had a beef with me! Unfortunately (or not), I do carry it. Either I don't do what they want or expect me to, or they want me to do something that I don't want to do.
Well, all I want to know is what's going on?
Carla
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
SUFFICIENT GRACE
Wow, December 1st. What a difference a year makes! I so well remember this time last year and what we were going through. It was probably the lowest December ever in my life.
I was exhausted, yet energized. Quite a contrast. I felt as though I was in the fight of my life. At this time last year, we were in the same predicament that so many.....maybe hundred of thousands.....Americans have been in, or they're in right now. We were in the middle of losing our home to foreclosure. Many people have experience with this, but not everybody wants to talk about it. I wish they would. When we went through it, it was as though we were all alone. I didn't know what our ultimate end would be, but I vowed that I would not remain silent and I wanted to be a friend when I got out of it for those who may experience it.
Hurricane Katrina was an extremely difficult for us as a family, and for my husband and I as a couple. We survived, and we came through even stronger. I didn't think we could be any stronger, or closer. Well we could, and we are, because of our experience last year.
Jerry did his best to hold everything together. He did his absolute best. But watching things unravel was very difficult for him. He was very strong and did not want to show any of what he called weakness. Watching him being effected as he displayed an outward stone appearance, yet knowing that he was crumbling inside was difficult to watch. It came a time where we cried together. He felt that he was letting me and our family down. He felt as though he failed us. I did my best to encourage him and let him know that we were in this together, I would always be by his side, and I did not feel that he failed.
The turmoil hit me a little differently. I ended up having panic/anxiety attacks, insomnia, and ultimately needed medication for it all, including anti-depression medication. I felt as though I was totally falling apart and didn't know how I could pull myself out of it.
We faced many challenges. Imagine having to tell your children that we were losing our home? Then needing to find somewhere to live immediately? Additionally, there was a feeling of shame, and not thinking you could talk to anyone. What would people think, was an ongoing question. Yet, I had a lot of fight in me because I refused to go down passively. I refused to leave without doing every single thing we could do to rectify the situation. And that meant swallowing that pride and appeal to everyone we thought could help us. We knew people who knew people in high places, and yes, we tried. But to no avail. Absolutely no one could help us. It was not until the day of our court hearing, where I thought we would be able to plead our case, that I accepted that this was really happening. When the judge told us that we only had a couple of weeks to get out, I died inside. But, I couldn't let that detour me, as now we had to find somewhere to live.
It was not until one week before we moved (which was Dec. 26, 2009), that a house became available. It definitely was not a house I wanted, or would've chosen under better circumstances, but it kept us from having to live on the streets.
So last year, as we entered the last month of the year 2009, my life drastically changed. We didn't enjoy a holiday season. We were simply concentrating on surviving. I prayed like never before, and I never lost hope or faith in God. Even when it became apparent that even with all of that faith, we were losing the house, I still believed that God had not forsakened us. I just didn't understand, but it was clear that I had to trust being in God's hand, even if I couldn't see where He was leading us. And it was glaringly clear that you can know all the people in this world that you want, but there comes a time when no one can help you.
Yes, I prayed, and I eventually felt like Paul when he prayed that God would deliver him from his own "thorn in the side". We don't what Paul's issue was, but we do know that he prayed a number of times for God to free him from his challenge. God chose not to. That's a hard pill to swallow. But God comforted Paul with His truth:
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
In my weakness I had to solely depend on and trust God. It was His sufficient grace that kept me. And it is through my weakness that His power was made perfect. How, you may ask. I'll tell you. I have good news.
Yes, we lost the house. Yes, we had to move. But, yes, God brought us back to our home. Six months later, we moved back to our home! The house that I love. The house that God made our home.
As difficult as our ordeal was last year, I really don't think that we could've made it through had this happened when we were younger. But it happened as I am facing 50. I thank God for that. I even thank Him for the experience because it has shaped us even moreso and confirmed everything that I've learned over the years. God is good! Even when the circumstances aren't good and you can't see your way through, He is still good. And more than anything I have learned not to put our confidence in mere man, but to always look up to God for everything.
His Word is true. His grace is sufficient, because in it is His power and strength. Exactly what we need to make it!
Blessings!
Carla
I was exhausted, yet energized. Quite a contrast. I felt as though I was in the fight of my life. At this time last year, we were in the same predicament that so many.....maybe hundred of thousands.....Americans have been in, or they're in right now. We were in the middle of losing our home to foreclosure. Many people have experience with this, but not everybody wants to talk about it. I wish they would. When we went through it, it was as though we were all alone. I didn't know what our ultimate end would be, but I vowed that I would not remain silent and I wanted to be a friend when I got out of it for those who may experience it.
Hurricane Katrina was an extremely difficult for us as a family, and for my husband and I as a couple. We survived, and we came through even stronger. I didn't think we could be any stronger, or closer. Well we could, and we are, because of our experience last year.
Jerry did his best to hold everything together. He did his absolute best. But watching things unravel was very difficult for him. He was very strong and did not want to show any of what he called weakness. Watching him being effected as he displayed an outward stone appearance, yet knowing that he was crumbling inside was difficult to watch. It came a time where we cried together. He felt that he was letting me and our family down. He felt as though he failed us. I did my best to encourage him and let him know that we were in this together, I would always be by his side, and I did not feel that he failed.
The turmoil hit me a little differently. I ended up having panic/anxiety attacks, insomnia, and ultimately needed medication for it all, including anti-depression medication. I felt as though I was totally falling apart and didn't know how I could pull myself out of it.
We faced many challenges. Imagine having to tell your children that we were losing our home? Then needing to find somewhere to live immediately? Additionally, there was a feeling of shame, and not thinking you could talk to anyone. What would people think, was an ongoing question. Yet, I had a lot of fight in me because I refused to go down passively. I refused to leave without doing every single thing we could do to rectify the situation. And that meant swallowing that pride and appeal to everyone we thought could help us. We knew people who knew people in high places, and yes, we tried. But to no avail. Absolutely no one could help us. It was not until the day of our court hearing, where I thought we would be able to plead our case, that I accepted that this was really happening. When the judge told us that we only had a couple of weeks to get out, I died inside. But, I couldn't let that detour me, as now we had to find somewhere to live.
It was not until one week before we moved (which was Dec. 26, 2009), that a house became available. It definitely was not a house I wanted, or would've chosen under better circumstances, but it kept us from having to live on the streets.
So last year, as we entered the last month of the year 2009, my life drastically changed. We didn't enjoy a holiday season. We were simply concentrating on surviving. I prayed like never before, and I never lost hope or faith in God. Even when it became apparent that even with all of that faith, we were losing the house, I still believed that God had not forsakened us. I just didn't understand, but it was clear that I had to trust being in God's hand, even if I couldn't see where He was leading us. And it was glaringly clear that you can know all the people in this world that you want, but there comes a time when no one can help you.
Yes, I prayed, and I eventually felt like Paul when he prayed that God would deliver him from his own "thorn in the side". We don't what Paul's issue was, but we do know that he prayed a number of times for God to free him from his challenge. God chose not to. That's a hard pill to swallow. But God comforted Paul with His truth:
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
In my weakness I had to solely depend on and trust God. It was His sufficient grace that kept me. And it is through my weakness that His power was made perfect. How, you may ask. I'll tell you. I have good news.
Yes, we lost the house. Yes, we had to move. But, yes, God brought us back to our home. Six months later, we moved back to our home! The house that I love. The house that God made our home.
As difficult as our ordeal was last year, I really don't think that we could've made it through had this happened when we were younger. But it happened as I am facing 50. I thank God for that. I even thank Him for the experience because it has shaped us even moreso and confirmed everything that I've learned over the years. God is good! Even when the circumstances aren't good and you can't see your way through, He is still good. And more than anything I have learned not to put our confidence in mere man, but to always look up to God for everything.
His Word is true. His grace is sufficient, because in it is His power and strength. Exactly what we need to make it!
Blessings!
Carla
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
GIVING THANKS EVERY DAY!
My Poem of Thanksgiving
By Carla Y. Nix
Lord, as I kneel to pray today
I must say thank you for making a way.
You blessed me with your loving kindness,
Tender mercies, protection, and guidance.
You endowed me with your agape love,
Showered me with joy and peace from above.
You have been faithful to your Word,
Never leaving me; my prayers have all been heard.
I thank you for much more than material things,
For it is your salvation that makes my heart sing.
I give thanks to you, my Precious Lord
And praise you for life; for you are my guard.
Thank you Lord, as I rejoice today
Thank you again for making a way.
By Carla Young Nix
© 2005
Monday, November 29, 2010
SECOND HALF
I honestly feel as though I am entering the 2nd half of my life. They say life begins at 40, but I'm believing that REAL life is ignited at 50. At 40, I did develop new awarenesses but I think that it is now that I am actually beginning to really live.
Physically, I'm a mess. I have pains like I've never had before. Oh my back, my legs, hips.......they HURT! And there are the illnesses I wish not to disclose here. And there is the memory loss issue....that scares me! But with it all, I just press on anyhow for one reason. I am excited about life!
I'm learning much more. I'm being given more opportunity to do the things that I truly love. I love these things so much that I am doing them without the privilege of compensation. The money would be good, but money is not what motivates me to live and walk in my purpose. Some may say that I'm a fool for doing anything without getting paid, and perhaps they're right. It's not that I don't need the money - quite the contrary actually. But I absolutely and simply love helping others and being a blessing to them. There is not enough money in the world that would give me the satisfaction and joy of knowing, loving, and living my purpose in life.
Welcome to my 2nd half!
Carla
Physically, I'm a mess. I have pains like I've never had before. Oh my back, my legs, hips.......they HURT! And there are the illnesses I wish not to disclose here. And there is the memory loss issue....that scares me! But with it all, I just press on anyhow for one reason. I am excited about life!
I'm learning much more. I'm being given more opportunity to do the things that I truly love. I love these things so much that I am doing them without the privilege of compensation. The money would be good, but money is not what motivates me to live and walk in my purpose. Some may say that I'm a fool for doing anything without getting paid, and perhaps they're right. It's not that I don't need the money - quite the contrary actually. But I absolutely and simply love helping others and being a blessing to them. There is not enough money in the world that would give me the satisfaction and joy of knowing, loving, and living my purpose in life.
Welcome to my 2nd half!
Carla
Expecting Great Things
What an exciting week it's been. Thoroughly enjoyed Thanksgiving. I cooked a whole bunch and don't feel bad about it. I enjoyed blessing my family. I know that cooking a big dinner is not mandatory, but it's something I wanted to do. Thanksgiving is very special to me and the big meal is one of those traditions I don't mind holding on to. It reminds me of my childhood and it simply rehashes a flood of fun and loving memories.
I am forever thankful. I do not wait until Thanksgiving to express my gratitude and love to God, family, and friends. The holiday is over, but I remain in a state of appreciation as I live my life. I am so excited about all that God has before me. I remain in an attitude of expectancy. I am overjoyed with the great things God gives me to do. I am never bored and I look forward to each new day. Life has changed and I experience new challenges since my mild stroke a few years ago, but I know that I now have an opportunity to live my dream.
I look forward to the week ahead. I can feel it my bones. I just know that God is going to bless us in ways that will just blow our minds!
Blessings!
Carla
I am forever thankful. I do not wait until Thanksgiving to express my gratitude and love to God, family, and friends. The holiday is over, but I remain in a state of appreciation as I live my life. I am so excited about all that God has before me. I remain in an attitude of expectancy. I am overjoyed with the great things God gives me to do. I am never bored and I look forward to each new day. Life has changed and I experience new challenges since my mild stroke a few years ago, but I know that I now have an opportunity to live my dream.
I look forward to the week ahead. I can feel it my bones. I just know that God is going to bless us in ways that will just blow our minds!
Blessings!
Carla
Friday, November 26, 2010
THIS WOMAN
As a young girl, I was very skinny. I remember that I just didn't eat much. But not for long! As an older girl, I ate more - and blossomed! I don't remember much about my skinny life, for I've never seen skinny again.
As a teenager, I hated my body. I hated everything about myself, in fact. I felt that I was not pretty, definitely not attractive to boys, I hated that I was shy, and I didn't believe that I had an appealing personality. I was happy reading books and writing my poetry and my journaling. Never thought anyone would be interested in such a girl.
I thought that I would never have a boyfriend. I refused to believe that anyone would ever take a second look at me, let alone be interested in getting to know me. Well, at 17, I had my first boyfriend. In fact, he was the only boyfriend I've ever had. At age 21, I married him. Jerry loved me from the beginning and I have to be honest, it took me years even long into my marriage for me to accept that anyone could love me. I still hadn't accepted myself and I consistently put myself down. But Jerry loves everything about me.
As an adult, I have always struggled with my weight and with body image acceptance. I viewed myself simply as the fat woman. One year, I lost 40 pounds. Great. But I still wore my same clothes. Forty pounds is a 4-size drop in clothing. My co-workers and friends tried to convince me to wear clothing that was more fitting. More tailored. But I just couldn't see "showing off my shape". I guess I felt comfortable "hiding" behind my clothes. One person told me that this was because I was not viewing my new self. I still saw myself 40 lbs heavier. I had to see myself differently, she said. But it was deeper than that I believe. It wasn't just the pounds. I wasn't seeing the WOMAN that I was. I belittled myself not realizing that doing so was a slap in God's face.
I've grown since then. An inside job. Honestly, about half of those pounds have returned, but I'm a much wiser woman today. I know I'll never be skinny, and I don't want to be. I've accepted and am happy that Jerry fell in love with a plus size woman, and he loves everything about her. He loves every curve, every plumpness, every thickness. My acceptance of this has caused me to embrace, know, and love my own sensuality. I am much more comfortable in our intimate life and trust me, it has never been better!
As I'm facing 50, naturally one thing I said is that I didn't want to be FAT & 50. But I know that I need to focus on being healthy, and not focus on physical image. Losing weight will make me healthier, but it will not make me a better woman. And that's what's important. That I be the best woman God made me to be. In doing so, I must love myself. Additionally, I thank God for the love of my husband. I realize how blessed I am.
Blessings!
Carla
As a teenager, I hated my body. I hated everything about myself, in fact. I felt that I was not pretty, definitely not attractive to boys, I hated that I was shy, and I didn't believe that I had an appealing personality. I was happy reading books and writing my poetry and my journaling. Never thought anyone would be interested in such a girl.
I thought that I would never have a boyfriend. I refused to believe that anyone would ever take a second look at me, let alone be interested in getting to know me. Well, at 17, I had my first boyfriend. In fact, he was the only boyfriend I've ever had. At age 21, I married him. Jerry loved me from the beginning and I have to be honest, it took me years even long into my marriage for me to accept that anyone could love me. I still hadn't accepted myself and I consistently put myself down. But Jerry loves everything about me.
As an adult, I have always struggled with my weight and with body image acceptance. I viewed myself simply as the fat woman. One year, I lost 40 pounds. Great. But I still wore my same clothes. Forty pounds is a 4-size drop in clothing. My co-workers and friends tried to convince me to wear clothing that was more fitting. More tailored. But I just couldn't see "showing off my shape". I guess I felt comfortable "hiding" behind my clothes. One person told me that this was because I was not viewing my new self. I still saw myself 40 lbs heavier. I had to see myself differently, she said. But it was deeper than that I believe. It wasn't just the pounds. I wasn't seeing the WOMAN that I was. I belittled myself not realizing that doing so was a slap in God's face.
I've grown since then. An inside job. Honestly, about half of those pounds have returned, but I'm a much wiser woman today. I know I'll never be skinny, and I don't want to be. I've accepted and am happy that Jerry fell in love with a plus size woman, and he loves everything about her. He loves every curve, every plumpness, every thickness. My acceptance of this has caused me to embrace, know, and love my own sensuality. I am much more comfortable in our intimate life and trust me, it has never been better!
As I'm facing 50, naturally one thing I said is that I didn't want to be FAT & 50. But I know that I need to focus on being healthy, and not focus on physical image. Losing weight will make me healthier, but it will not make me a better woman. And that's what's important. That I be the best woman God made me to be. In doing so, I must love myself. Additionally, I thank God for the love of my husband. I realize how blessed I am.
Blessings!
Carla
Music Repeats
 |
| My J5 Christmas Album - CD cover |
Then Hurricane Katrina hit us in 2005. The CD was lost with ALL of my music. Must've lost over 100 CD's. Way over.
I was able to treat myself with the purchase of the CD again a few years ago. My children (Anaiah, specifically) listen to my Jackson 5 Christmas Album just as much as I. We're so "weird", we'll pull it out in July just to enjoy it!
Another childhood favorite is The Chipmunks Christmas Album. I want to find that one as well. My Anaiah also love the Chipmunks. Wish I can find another one I cherished as a child, that's The Chipmunks Sings the Beetles Hits. I believe that's the correct title. But, yes, they sang a whole album of the Beetles hits. I absolutely loved it.
Feeling kind of young at heart today!
Carla
Monday, November 22, 2010
PERPETUAL STUDENT
Isn't it amazing how we rushed our way through school? Some of you even hated school. I wasn't one to hate school, but I even convinced myself that I wasn't a good pupil (one of my favorite words). This was after high school graduation, during my first semester of college. I eventually dropped out because again, I thought I wasn't good. My words were, "I'm not college material".
I lived that lie for years. I LOVE learning and over the years I've come to terms that I am a perpetual student. I have returned to college (several times), and last year received an Associate's degree in Christian Education. I am still in pursuit of my Bachelor's and am studying for a degree in Christian Counseling.
But you know, it's not a degree that draws me. Through my career life, I've run across NUMEROUS people who had degrees but didn't have the knowledge behind it. In fact, some I would say were pretty lame. I mention this because I was always shocked when I learned this. Not that they weren't very bright, but because I found myself slightly envious that they had the degree and the great position because of it, yet I was always the one they depended on to do the work they were being paid to do! Me, with no degree! So I learned that it's not the degree that makes a person.
I'm not a brain, and definitely not a genius. In fact, I wouldn't even consider myself all that smart (although I KNOW I'm not dumb!). I have to study and prepare and make an effort to learn. But that's just the thing. I have an insatiable appetite for learning. I am open and willing to absorb what's before me.
I never want to stop learning. I can't imagine living without learning! I can't imagine not discovering new things. I can't imagine not having my mind and imagination expanded. And I definitely never want to reach a point where I feel that I know it all, or that I can't be taught. I truly believe that when we stop learning, we become stagnant and we stop growing. When an organism that is designed to develop stops growing, it dies.
I love being a perpetual student. And as I am facing 50, I so wish that I could return to that 18 year old college freshman and tell her that, yes, she is college material, and she can do it! I thank God that He has allowed me to learn this about myself.
I lived that lie for years. I LOVE learning and over the years I've come to terms that I am a perpetual student. I have returned to college (several times), and last year received an Associate's degree in Christian Education. I am still in pursuit of my Bachelor's and am studying for a degree in Christian Counseling.
But you know, it's not a degree that draws me. Through my career life, I've run across NUMEROUS people who had degrees but didn't have the knowledge behind it. In fact, some I would say were pretty lame. I mention this because I was always shocked when I learned this. Not that they weren't very bright, but because I found myself slightly envious that they had the degree and the great position because of it, yet I was always the one they depended on to do the work they were being paid to do! Me, with no degree! So I learned that it's not the degree that makes a person.
I'm not a brain, and definitely not a genius. In fact, I wouldn't even consider myself all that smart (although I KNOW I'm not dumb!). I have to study and prepare and make an effort to learn. But that's just the thing. I have an insatiable appetite for learning. I am open and willing to absorb what's before me.
I never want to stop learning. I can't imagine living without learning! I can't imagine not discovering new things. I can't imagine not having my mind and imagination expanded. And I definitely never want to reach a point where I feel that I know it all, or that I can't be taught. I truly believe that when we stop learning, we become stagnant and we stop growing. When an organism that is designed to develop stops growing, it dies.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
FACING 50: I DON'T SEE IT TODAY
FACING 50: I DON'T SEE IT TODAY: "I am at a point, position, and place in my life now where it's necessary for me to restructure or redefine myself. I'm re-inventing myself. ..."
I DON'T SEE IT TODAY
I am at a point, position, and place in my life now where it's necessary for me to restructure or redefine myself. I'm re-inventing myself. Hmmm, not sure if I like the term "re-inventing". I didn't invent myself from the beginning. I'll process that at another time. But the truth is that so much has changed over the last few years. I am definitely not the person I once was, yet, I am still the core of me. It is because of the changed situations and conditions that have shaped my life.
I am able now to enjoy operating and flourishing in my gifts and utilizing my skills for ministry and helping others. I absolutely love that I am granted this. However, as a result, so many sacrifices and adjustments have been made. It's been a heavy load on my husband because we no longer have my income. I've tried my best and very hard to make it independently by doing all that I can. However, to no avail. And it is so frustrating. It hurts. I truly feel like a failure.
When I had the mild stroke a few years ago, Jerry and I were in agreement that I would not return to work. I've been able to remain home and be here for my family. I missed out on so much with the 20 plus years of working (living) in/for corporate America. Now I'm able to devote time as well to ministry, my writing, my studying and preparation for speaking engagements. I absolutely love all of this. In fact, I can't imagine not being able to do any of that.
It's good, but on the other hand, we are struggling without an income from me. I do my best to supplement, but to no avail. I put things out to generate money, but no one wants to buy. I also need funds in order to print, publish, etc. But I won't take away from the household in order to do so when so much is needed. There are times when I don't buy my medication because something else is needed. Therefore, there may be a lapse in my regimen. I know, I know...not very smart, but it's what I have to do.
Yesterday was a turning point day for me. I don't know how much will change, but I know that a change has to happen. I prayed, and cried.....cried, and prayed. There was a breakthrough in my thinking and I am thankful to God that He gave me an influx of inspiration. This blog - Facing 50 - is the result of one of the ideas that God gave me. There are several others coming down the pipe. I worked very late last night getting a few things off the ground.
I'm going to follow God's direction, but most of all, I'll TRUST what He's doing in my life. I have to be patient. I have to know that even though I can't see it now, God is working everything out. He has kept us all of this time. It has been rough, but He always provides.
Lord, I pray that I will become the awesome woman you have designed me to be!
Carla
I am able now to enjoy operating and flourishing in my gifts and utilizing my skills for ministry and helping others. I absolutely love that I am granted this. However, as a result, so many sacrifices and adjustments have been made. It's been a heavy load on my husband because we no longer have my income. I've tried my best and very hard to make it independently by doing all that I can. However, to no avail. And it is so frustrating. It hurts. I truly feel like a failure.
When I had the mild stroke a few years ago, Jerry and I were in agreement that I would not return to work. I've been able to remain home and be here for my family. I missed out on so much with the 20 plus years of working (living) in/for corporate America. Now I'm able to devote time as well to ministry, my writing, my studying and preparation for speaking engagements. I absolutely love all of this. In fact, I can't imagine not being able to do any of that.
It's good, but on the other hand, we are struggling without an income from me. I do my best to supplement, but to no avail. I put things out to generate money, but no one wants to buy. I also need funds in order to print, publish, etc. But I won't take away from the household in order to do so when so much is needed. There are times when I don't buy my medication because something else is needed. Therefore, there may be a lapse in my regimen. I know, I know...not very smart, but it's what I have to do.
Yesterday was a turning point day for me. I don't know how much will change, but I know that a change has to happen. I prayed, and cried.....cried, and prayed. There was a breakthrough in my thinking and I am thankful to God that He gave me an influx of inspiration. This blog - Facing 50 - is the result of one of the ideas that God gave me. There are several others coming down the pipe. I worked very late last night getting a few things off the ground.
I'm going to follow God's direction, but most of all, I'll TRUST what He's doing in my life. I have to be patient. I have to know that even though I can't see it now, God is working everything out. He has kept us all of this time. It has been rough, but He always provides.
Lord, I pray that I will become the awesome woman you have designed me to be!
Carla
Friday, November 19, 2010
It's Official!
Other than all of the changes that have taken place in my body, one of the first official signs I got that I was facing 50 was my AARP card in the mail! I believe I'm far from retirement, but I couldn't tell from the AARP mailings.
Well, Jerry is past 50, and he went on and signed us both up to be true card-carrying members!
Blessings,
Carla
Well, Jerry is past 50, and he went on and signed us both up to be true card-carrying members!
Blessings,
Carla
What's It All About?
That's my question for now and for the days to come. Yes, I am facing 50 years old and I want to know what's it all about. I recall facing 30 and 40. Those decades meant something different to me than facing 50. When I turned 30, it finally dawned on me that I was an adult. My son and daughter were still young and I was working my first "real" job. When I turned 40, a new bundle of joy entered our lives midway through that decade, and I was still working at that same "real" job. Something else began to happen. I believe that my life really began in my 40's. All sorts of epiphanies hit me and I also learned my purpose in life.
Now, today, at 49, I truly feel really grownup and I appreciate every single day of my life. I've learned so much and I am looking forward to turning 50 on October 21, 2011. In the meantime (hmmm, sounds like a good title to write about), I am going to document my life here. I'm going to throw caution to the wind and simply be honest. I will share my thoughts, feelings, and perspective from my almost 50 standpoint.
I welcome your input. Actually, I truly desire your advice, sharing of your own experiences, etc. I don't want to take this journey alone.
Blessings,
Carla
Now, today, at 49, I truly feel really grownup and I appreciate every single day of my life. I've learned so much and I am looking forward to turning 50 on October 21, 2011. In the meantime (hmmm, sounds like a good title to write about), I am going to document my life here. I'm going to throw caution to the wind and simply be honest. I will share my thoughts, feelings, and perspective from my almost 50 standpoint.
I welcome your input. Actually, I truly desire your advice, sharing of your own experiences, etc. I don't want to take this journey alone.
Blessings,
Carla
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