SUFFICIENT GRACE

Wow, December 1st. What a difference a year makes! I so well remember this time last year and what we were going through. It was probably the lowest December ever in my life.

I was exhausted, yet energized. Quite a contrast. I felt as though I was in the fight of my life. At this time last year, we were in the same predicament that so many.....maybe hundred of thousands.....Americans have been in, or they're in right now. We were in the middle of losing our home to foreclosure.  Many people have experience with this, but not everybody wants to talk about it.  I wish they would.  When we went through it, it was as though we were all alone. I didn't know what our ultimate end would be, but I vowed that I would not remain silent and I wanted to be a friend when I got out of it for those who may experience it.

Hurricane Katrina was an extremely difficult for us as a family, and for my husband and I as a couple. We survived, and we came through even stronger.  I didn't think we could be any stronger, or closer.  Well we could, and we are, because of our experience last year.

Jerry did his best to hold everything together. He did his absolute best. But watching things unravel was very difficult for him. He was very strong and did not want to show any of what he called weakness. Watching him being effected as he displayed an outward stone appearance, yet knowing that he was crumbling inside was difficult to watch. It came a time where we cried together. He felt that he was letting me and our family down. He felt as though he failed us.  I did my best to encourage him and let him know that we were in this together, I would always be by his side, and I did not feel that he failed.

The turmoil hit me a little differently. I ended up having panic/anxiety attacks, insomnia, and ultimately needed medication for it all, including anti-depression medication. I felt as though I was totally falling apart and didn't know how I could pull myself out of it.

We faced many challenges. Imagine having to tell your children that we were losing our home? Then needing to find somewhere to live immediately?  Additionally, there was a feeling of shame, and not thinking you could talk to anyone. What would people think, was an ongoing question.  Yet, I had a lot of fight in me because I refused to go down passively. I refused to leave without doing every single thing we could do to rectify the situation.  And that meant swallowing that pride and appeal to everyone we thought could help us. We knew people who knew people in high places, and yes, we tried. But to no avail. Absolutely no one could help us.  It was not until the day of our court hearing, where I thought we would be able to plead our case, that I accepted that this was really happening. When the judge told us that we only had a couple of weeks to get out, I died inside. But, I couldn't let that detour me, as now we had to find somewhere to live.

It was not until one week before we moved (which was Dec. 26, 2009), that a house became available. It definitely was not a house I wanted, or would've chosen under better circumstances, but it kept us from having to live on the streets.

So last year, as we entered the last month of the year 2009, my life drastically changed. We didn't enjoy a holiday season. We were simply concentrating on surviving.  I prayed like never before, and I never lost hope or faith in God. Even when it became apparent that even with all of that faith, we were losing the house, I still believed that God had not forsakened us. I just didn't understand, but it was clear that I had to trust being in God's hand, even if I couldn't see where He was leading us. And it was glaringly clear that you can know all the people in this world that you want, but there comes a time when no one can help you.

Yes, I prayed, and I eventually felt like Paul when he prayed that God would deliver him from his own "thorn in the side". We don't what Paul's issue was, but we do know that he prayed a number of times for God to free him from his challenge. God chose not to. That's a hard pill to swallow. But God comforted Paul with His truth:

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9


In my weakness I had to solely depend on and trust God.  It was His sufficient grace that kept me.  And it is through my weakness that His power was made perfect.  How, you may ask.  I'll tell you. I have good news.

Yes, we lost the house.  Yes, we had to move.  But, yes, God brought us back to our home. Six months later, we moved back to our home! The house that I love. The house that God made our home.

As difficult as our ordeal was last year, I really don't think that we could've made it through had this happened when we were younger. But it happened as I am facing 50.  I thank God for that. I even thank Him for the experience because it has shaped us even moreso and confirmed everything that I've learned over the years. God is good! Even when the circumstances aren't good and you can't see your way through, He is still good.  And more than anything I have learned not to put our confidence in mere man, but to always look up to God for everything.

His Word is true.  His grace is sufficient, because in it is His power and strength.  Exactly what we need to make it!

Blessings!
Carla