She Lives!

I am reminded of our first visit back to New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina’s devastation back in 2005.  When we were finally allowed back in our neighborhood, it was heart wrenching. After the initial shock of seeing the remains of our destroyed home, there was something else that remained with me even more profoundly than that visual. It was the stillness and quietness.

There was no movement and no sound! My husband, son, and I just looked at everything in shock. And then we began the work that we’d come there to do. Remove what was now debris. Yet, the stillness and quietness of our once lively neighborhood remained with me. There was absolutely no sign of life! We know that our next door neighbor’s dog died because the officials had written that fact on their house. But it amazed me how it seems as though ALL life had stopped. There was not one bird flying around. No chirping. No stray dogs. No barking. No cats. Of course no sounds of children laughing and playing. No sounds of cars driving or horns blowing. And most amazing of all, not even the wind was blowing. The trees….what was left….just stood still.

A once bustling site of life had been silenced and stilled. It was eerie.

I sort of feel like that again. Silenced and stilled. At least, that’s how my life has been since May 30^th. Thank God I did NOT physically die, but the medical maladies I’ve experienced seem to have been sudden and profound, just as Katrina. That’s how my life has changed. And I’ve been instructed to rest, take it easy, slow down, STOP! It’s as though I have been silenced and stilled!

I’ve gone back to visit Carla and it’s quiet there. No sounds of laughter anymore. The former things that brought enjoyment have ceased. The body has to take it easy now and be careful not to overdo things. When I do exert, I feel it and know that I must stop.

It does feel as though life has stopped, but I refuse to accept that sentence. I am NOT dead and I still have life in me. There is still a lot in me that I know I want to carry out and so much that I still have yet to do. I still have a family and I want to see them accomplish what they want in life, get married, and have their own families. Yep, I do want to see grandbabies one day. I want to see my children happy in their own lives. I also want to continue being a blessing to others and touching and impacting lives in a positive way. I want to encourage others to do and be all that they can be. I love it when the light bulb goes off in others and they see in themselves the greatness that I see in them, knowing that God has placed it there.

My life is not over!

No, I did not see the wind blowing when we went back home, nor did I hear any sounds. But unlike that unforgettable experience, I know that I still have the breath of God blowing through me and I have a lot more to say and do. I will NOT be silenced and stilled!