I don't know what's up with me. There's a small, still voice inside of me that keep whispering, "I'm better than this!"
I have not been myself, or the best me, over some time now. I don't have the same vigor & drive that I know is in me. Somewhere, laying dormant! It's there, I just can't feel it. The gusto isn't there. Energy - zero! I haven't been able to fully focus and concentrate. I don't know why I'm so distracted yet in many ways, I have a mundane spirit and attitude.
I'm better than this.....and I know it! Why can't I pull myself up out of this slump and snap out of it?!
Snap out of what? That's just it....I don't know! All I know is, I'm better than this!
I'm happy to know that how I feel doesn't define who I am. If that were the case, I'd be a total failure! I know I am not, for I am better than this!
Help me Lord!
Carla
Friday, January 28, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
VEIL
They say that I was born with a veil over my face. Have you ever heard that term? I was born 49 + years ago, and much of my life, I've heard that I was born with a veil. It's a two-fold statement.
1. I believe that it was a portion of the amniotic sac (or, the after birth), that had to be removed from my face. Thus, the "veil".
2. It is believed that such babies possess some type of special gifts.
Now, I don't know how "true" the second statement is, but it was always those times when I "saw" something, "felt" something, "heard" something, or "knew" something extraordinarily that I was told about the veil.
I don't believe that there is some mystic quality about me. I do believe, however, that at times, I do experience certain "odd" occurrences. I call them odd simply because I cannot explain them, but I know that they are very real. In fact, I don't mention them much nor tell many people because it can't be explained and I know that folks would think I'm crazy. It is when I'm sharing with someone whom I know would embrace what I'm saying and at least listen. This is my blog, and I feel like writing about it, so I am.
I remember the times I've heard the "bells". Those that they call death bells; and certainly each time, someone died. I was told that this was because of the veil. Oh how I wish I didn't have this eccentricity. I cannot begin to tell you how eerie this is!
And when I've "seen" things. When I've "heard" things. Even when I've had dreams. I can't begin to explain them all.
Most recent, I've had this feeling -- a confident feeling -- that something was about to shake up in my family. A change was coming. A transitional period, as we're being driven into a new direction. Yet, I could not, nor cannot say exactly what that is. But I just knew. I've tried to shake the feeling. The thought. The perceived knowledge. Put it out of my head. I don't know if the forecast is for the better, or worse. But I do know that a change is coming. In fact, part of that storm has already hit. A change in dynamics has occurred in my immediate family and as it hit, I was reminded of the feeling that had been in my spirit. It's happening now.
I'm hoping that the little shake up we've had is for the best and that it was necessary to steer us in the right direction.
As far as the veil, none of my children were born with such an occurrence, but each one of them do possess portions of the gifts that endow me. They don't realize that I understand them more than they know.
Carla Y. Nix
1. I believe that it was a portion of the amniotic sac (or, the after birth), that had to be removed from my face. Thus, the "veil".
2. It is believed that such babies possess some type of special gifts.
Now, I don't know how "true" the second statement is, but it was always those times when I "saw" something, "felt" something, "heard" something, or "knew" something extraordinarily that I was told about the veil.
I don't believe that there is some mystic quality about me. I do believe, however, that at times, I do experience certain "odd" occurrences. I call them odd simply because I cannot explain them, but I know that they are very real. In fact, I don't mention them much nor tell many people because it can't be explained and I know that folks would think I'm crazy. It is when I'm sharing with someone whom I know would embrace what I'm saying and at least listen. This is my blog, and I feel like writing about it, so I am.
I remember the times I've heard the "bells". Those that they call death bells; and certainly each time, someone died. I was told that this was because of the veil. Oh how I wish I didn't have this eccentricity. I cannot begin to tell you how eerie this is!
And when I've "seen" things. When I've "heard" things. Even when I've had dreams. I can't begin to explain them all.
Most recent, I've had this feeling -- a confident feeling -- that something was about to shake up in my family. A change was coming. A transitional period, as we're being driven into a new direction. Yet, I could not, nor cannot say exactly what that is. But I just knew. I've tried to shake the feeling. The thought. The perceived knowledge. Put it out of my head. I don't know if the forecast is for the better, or worse. But I do know that a change is coming. In fact, part of that storm has already hit. A change in dynamics has occurred in my immediate family and as it hit, I was reminded of the feeling that had been in my spirit. It's happening now.
I'm hoping that the little shake up we've had is for the best and that it was necessary to steer us in the right direction.
As far as the veil, none of my children were born with such an occurrence, but each one of them do possess portions of the gifts that endow me. They don't realize that I understand them more than they know.
Carla Y. Nix
Friday, January 14, 2011
THE TEARFUL EYES OF BERNICE
Original Poem by Carla Y. Nix
THE TEARFUL EYES OF BERNICE
By Carla Y. Nix
The tearful eyes of Bernice
Made me cry and also grieve
As one little girl watched another little girl
Mourn before the whole wide world.
That picture remains in my mind today
I can’t believe that 40 years have passed away.
I still feel the powerful grip of grief;
Still feeling sad for Bernice.
That poor little girl had to say goodbye
While on her mother’s lap she lie
A woman of pure grace and strength
Coretta, without Martin, her precious King.
I think often of the great impact he made
I am so thankful for the trail he paved.
And I know that it was only God that gifted King so
In order for this world, and our people, to grow.
I can’t imagine what our lives would have been
If it had not been for Dr. Martin Luther King.
Yet I wonder if my own people will ever appreciate;
I wonder why we are filled with so much hate.
Now grown, this little girl will never forget
The picture, she first saw in Jet
Of MLK’s little girl – his progeny
Those tearful eyes of Bernice.
© January 2008
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